My friend Speck asked, "where have guys like this gone?" I dunno. I suspect they either a) founded Urban Outfitters or b) wound up in the Clinton administration.
Yrs truly has a birthday coming up next week. Let's just say I wouldn't be disappointed if a short-sleeve, natural (???)-colored Big Zip showed up at the Ricotta Park HQ.
About a year ago, Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues was performed at the Atlantic Theaters in the Ricotta Park headquarters of sunny Atlantic Beach, FL. The show was advertised on the marquee for a day or two before a woman - who had driven by the theater with her 12-year old niece - called and complained about the word "vagina" being displayed publicly..
After some arguing, threats, etc, the manager changed the marquee to read "The Hoohaa Monologues." I saw the sign the afternoon that the change was made, thought it seemed an odd change, called the theater, got the story from the manager and wrote about it. The Hoohaa story was also covered by the local alt-weekly, a local television station, as well as majornational and international news outlets. People around the world were outraged with both the woman's ignorant repression and the theater's weak-kneed appeasement of her.
A few days later, the folks at bOING bOING linked to my post and my daily traffic went through the roof. More outrage, more comments, tons of inbound links from other sites and blogs. And while the story is long-since dead, the Hoohaa post - a year old and still getting dozens of direct hits a day - remains the most popular one on this site.
But the post's popularity hasn't endured because people are still incensed about a hoohaa in the lower fringes of the Bible Belt, but rather because people are searching for LOTS of other vagina-related content on the internet. Big surprise, I know.
Below the fold is a list of the most popular Google-based keyword searches from the last six months or so that have led people to my original post. The list ranges from celebratory (fantastic female vaginas) to supernatural (girl could put out fire with vagina) to creepy (12 year old girls vaginas) to international (how to say vagina in spain) to hell yeah bro (the coolest things that girls do with there vaginas) to complete shock (you can see her vagina!) to Canadian indie rock sirens (+""emily haines"" pic +vagina).
I've left the punctuation as-is. Feel free to discuss your favorites.
Driving by the Atlantic Theatres yesterday afternoon on my way to a meeting, I noticed that their huge marquee had changed slightly --- what was once billed (as recent as the day before) as "THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES - Feb. 15th,16th and 17th" had been changed to "THE HOOHAA MONOLOGUES."
Confused at the change in terminology from the anatomical to the informal, I called the Theater immediately (904-249-PLAY) and asked the answering manager if some kind of complaint had been made. He told me that a woman, who had driven by with her niece earlier in the day, demanded that they remove the vulgar "VAGINA" from the marquee, as it was wholly offensive to her and others (of presumably equally low intelligence).
The manager, in perhaps the coolest act of management ever, informed the lady that it was (Atlantic Theatres') sign and that (Atlantic Theatres) could post what they wanted on it. Never mind the fact that the word in question was, in fact, part of the title of an award-winning play and a perfectly appropriate term for female anatomy.
The woman then demanded that Atlantic Theatres change the sign or that she'd "pursue further action." The manager I spoke with sounded a bit frustrated yet resigned to the fact that any hell this woman could raise would far outweigh his personal satisfaction in keeping the sign as it was. He also told that Channel 4 had been there earlier in the day. Here's their story.
The play's director has asked the theatre to put the "VAGINA" back on the marquee. I would also like to see the "VAGINA" again.
Sorry. Had to do it.
But seriously - I know there are plenty of existing (and soon-to-be) parents out there. Would you not want your children seeing "VAGINA" on a sign? Is it really that bad? Am I missing something?
Please, readers, weigh in. This is actually a pretty complicated and serious issue; not only are there free speech issues involved, but proceeds of the play are being donated to breast cancer research.
Oh yeah, here's a flyer for the Valentine's Day show at Shantytown Pub featuring Roargan, Heavy Flow and Simple Complexity. If for no other reason, go to this show to support the flyer.
(flyer by keith ansley and josh dunn)
for more recent news about HooHaas in Jax, please go here.
"One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is
through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their
children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3
piracy."
Wowza! Love God's Way is a group dedicated to the reformation of homosexuals. The C.H.O.P.S. (Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People) program, with it's liberty-taking acronym and everything...well, I'll just repost Donnie's message:
"Hello Friends,
I hope you take the time to read the quote by our good friend and
compatriot, Oscar Wilde. In that one quote Oscar brings to life the
isolation and despair of what he refers to as "us", the homosexuals. It
is a long, lonely, desolate road, homosexuality.
I've been there, friends. I know how horrible and rough that road can
be. I have been called a "Faggot". You are not alone and guess what,
God Loves You even if he hates your Homosexuality. You just can't stay
that way. Let me help you love yourself. Follow me and together we'll
C.H.O.P.S away the Gay."
C.H.O.P.S. away the Gay, indeed.
Really curious, though, are the lists of "Gay" and "Safe" bands. Kansas, for instance, despite having several Evangelical Christians in the band over the years, is "gay." Bobby Conn, featured on yesterday's post, is also "Gay." The Strokes, Motorhead and Arcade Fire are all queer-cut gays as well. I have a feeling that Eminem, Ghostface Killah and DMX would probably get super pissed if they found out what homos Donnie Davies thought they were. And in case you were curious, Elton John is "really gay."
Cyndi Lauper, however, is "safe." It probably has something to do with her connection to Captain Lou Albano, a legend in the uber-straight world of professional wrestling.
So, we wrangled an advance copy of the new, hilariously titled !!! album, Myth Takes, on which the band seems to have traded much of the playful, daresay juvenile aspects of their previous albums for a harder, more contemplative edge.
Granted, one of the best lines in the track I'm posting here is "we did it on the bed, we did it on the floor" but take my word for it, this album is almost dark.
Well, OK, so the second best line is about how this girl takes a cell phone call while the narrator is ostensibly trying to fuck her in the club --- but really, this is brooding stuff. I promise.
Yeah, well, alright. This is still really good dance music. Ease up.
This morning, while reading more Lamont-Lieberman vitriol, I suddenly wondered: Did I, in 1994, at Merge Records' 5th Anniversary Party at the Cat's Cradle in Chapel Hill, overhear from another crowd-goer that Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots) fucked Tabitha Soren (the mid-90's MTV news anchor) w/ a hat pin?
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